Modern Vehicles for GROOVY Ghastly Affair

12 Monday Apr 2021

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway

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1960s. 1970s, 20th Century, Ghastly Affair, Gothic Gaming, Gothic Horror, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Groovy Horror, Modern Horror, Road Trip, Seventies, Sixties

As with the play-test rules for modern firearms, these guidelines will probably be subject to some refinement and simplification before final publication in GROOVY Ghastly Affair. Try them out while driving on the Uncanny Highway.

When the Vehicle Rules Matter

Drivers are assumed to be able to operate their vehicles in most common situations without the need for any kind of dice roll. If a Player simply wants their character to drive to the corner store to grab some milk, the Presenter should simply state that they do so safely and without incident.

However, if the Player Characters will face Danger while operating their vehicles (such as a Fight, a Chase, an Escape, or any situation that could result in harm), then the Attributes of the vehicle(s) involved come into play. Drivers will have to make Dexterity Checks to complete any challenging maneuvers without losing control and Crashing.

The Attributes of Vehicles

Vehicles are defined by four Attributes: Vehicle Speed, Armor Class, Hit Points, and Handling Modifier.

Vehicle Speed is a factor chiefly during vehicle Chases, and is measured on a different scale from the Speed scores of people and animals.

Each point of Vehicle Speed equals 10 miles (or approximately 16 kilometers) per hour rate of travel.
A very healthy person (ordinary Speed 9) running as fast as they can attains Vehicle Speed 1.
A car with Vehicle Speed of 10 can travel a maximum of 100 miles per hour, while one with Vehicle Speed 20 can attain 200 miles an hour.
Obviously, a vehicle does not always travel at its maximum Speed, especially since most roads have a legal speed limit of some kind.

Armor Class is the Penalty to the Attack Check for anything trying to damage the vehicle, or its passengers. Thus, it functions just like Armor Class does for any character or creature.

Hit Points define how much damage the vehicle can sustain before it becomes non-functional.

At 0 Hit Points, the vehicle is inoperable. A moving vehicle reduced to 0 Hit Points (or less) will Crash into a nearby object the next Round.
At -10, Hit Points, a vehicle is so broken that it can no longer be repaired.

Handling Modifier is a Bonus or Penalty to the driver’s Dexterity Check when they attempt difficult or challenging maneuvers with their vehicle (besides speeding up, slowing down, coming to a gradual stop, making an expected turn at low speed, or parking). Situations where a Driver should make a Dexterity Check with the Handling Modifier include:

Driving around an obstacle at high speed.
Attempting to maintain a Chase while in traffic (Check each Round).
Attempting to turn while maintaining full speed in a Chase.
Stopping suddenly.
Making a sudden or unexpected turn.
Preventing or forcing the movement of another vehicle.
Running another vehicle off the road (requires a Dexterity Contest).
Maintaining control of a vehicle while firing a gun.
Driving while intoxicated or distracted. (Check every third of a mile, or half a kilometer.)
Any situation were failure could result in serious bodily injury.

Failing any of the above Checks results in a Crash (see below).

A typical 4-door Sedan has the following Attributes:
Vehicle Speed: 10
Armor Class: 2
Hit Points: 20
Handling Modifier: 0 (None)

Fights Involving Vehicles

Anyone directing an Attack towards a Vehicle and/or it passengers must make two Attack Checks.

The first Attack Check is against the vehicle’s Armor Class.

Damage from this Attack is subtracted from the vehicle’s Hit Points.

The second Attack Check is against one of the passengers.

If the attacker does not specify which passenger (or cannot see the passengers well enough to distinguish a desired target) the target is chosen at random.
The vehicle’s Armor Class is added to the target’s own.
If the driver is killed, the vehicle Crashes into a nearby object the next Round.
Note that it possible to kill a passenger without doing any major damage to the vehicle itself – by putting a bullet through the door or window, for example.

Firing at or from Moving Vehicles

Anyone attacking from a moving vehicle suffers a -2 Penalty on the Check.
Attacks against a moving vehicle, and/or its passengers, incur a -2 Penalty.
Attacks against a moving vehicle, from a moving vehicle, incur a total Penalty of -4.

Ramming With a Vehicle

Deliberately crashing into another vehicle to damage it (and its passengers) while minimizing harm to yourself and your vehicle requires making a Dexterity Check with the vehicle’s Handling Modifier.

If the check succeeds, the ramming vehicle suffers 1d6 points of Damage, but its Driver and Passengers only suffer 1d6 points of Nonlethal Damage. The struck vehicle however, suffers Damage equal to the current Hit Points of the Ramming Vehicle, and every occupant (or rider) therein suffers 1d6 points of Lethal Damage and 1d6 Points of Nonlethal Damage.
If the driver attempting to ram fails their Dexterity Check, everyone involved suffers 1d6 points of Lethal Damage and 1d6 points of Nonlethal Damage. Both vehicles also suffer Hit Point Damage equal to the current Hit Points of the vehicle whose driver attempted the ram. (The ramming vehicle is thus rendered inoperable.)

Deliberately Hitting Pedestrians

A driver deliberately trying to hit pedestrians must make a Dexterity Check with the Handling Modifier.

If the Check succeeds, the driver strikes one pedestrian that for each point of their current Vehicle Speed. The Lethal Damage inflicted on each struck pedestrian is 1d6 + the driver’s Damage Bonus.
If the Driver fails their Dexterity Check, they lose control and Crash the vehicle (see below).

Chases Involving Vehicles

Vehicle Chases on the open road are conducted much like any other Chase in Ghastly Affair.

Determine the Lead (distance between quarry and pursuer).
Each Round, the side with the lower Vehicle Speed score tries to roll under it on a d20. The Contest Penalty for the roll is equal to half the Vehicle Speed of the faster side.
If the two sides have the same Vehicle Speed, flip a coin to determine who wins.
If the pursuer wins, the Lead is reduced by feet equal to ten times their Vehicle Speed score.
If the quarry wins, the Lead is increased by feet equal to ten times their Vehicle Speed score.
Once the two vehicles are in contact, the driver(s) can attempt such things as running the other vehicle off the road (and causing a Crash), forcing the other vehicle to make a turn, or even ramming the other vehicle.

A driver who wishes to use an Incantation or Preternatural Power while engaged in a vehicle Chase must stop to do so. Passengers may do so freely, however.

Chases in Traffic

In addition to the above procedure, both pursuer and quarry must make a Dexterity check each Round (with their vehicle’s Handling Modifier) or Crash into a nearby car (see below).

Running Another Car Off the Road

If two cars close the lead to 0 and come into Contact during a Chase, one of the drivers can attempt to run the other off the road.

The two Drivers engage in a Dexterity Contest.
If the aggressor wins, the victim will be run off the road. The victim must then Save versus Dexterity, or lose control of their vehicle and Crash into a nearby obstacle the next Round.
If the victim wins the Dexterity Contest, then the aggressor will lose control and Crash into a nearby obstacle the next Round.

Escapes Involving Vehicles

Throwing a Tail

Losing (or maintaining) a Tail when Vehicles are involved can be handled in a similar manner to when both tracker and target are on foot

If the environment provides areas where the target can get lost (traffic, a busy city, etc.), then the target and follower must engage in an Intelligence Contest.
If the target wins, the follower loses track of them.
If the follower wins, then the target is usable to lose their follower.

Crashing Vehicles

Everyone on or within a vehicle involved in a Crash must Save versus Dexterity, or take both 1d6 points of Lethal Damage and 1d6 points of Nonlethal Damage. A Crashed Vehicle suffers damage equal to 1d6, multiplied by the Vehicle Speed at which it was traveling when the Crash occurred.

For example, a Coupe (with 20 Hit Points) crashes on the highway while traveling at Vehicle Speed 6 (60 mph). The Presenter rolls a 4 on a d6, indicating that the driver suffers 4 points of Damage. The driver (who had 3 Hit Points) is now at -1 Hit Points – unconscious, and likely to die in 9 Rounds (90 seconds) unless they get immediate medical attention. In the passenger seat is the driver’s friend. The Presenter rolls a 2, and a 4, on a d6, indicating that the passenger (who had 4 Hit Points) suffers 2 points of Lethal Damage and 4 points of Nonlethal Damage. Since Nonlethal Damage is restored at the rate of 1 point per Turn (10 minutes), the passenger will be knocked out for 20 minutes after the Crash. The Presenter then rolls a d6 for the car’s damage, with the result of a 2. This is multiplied by 6, since the car was traveling at Speed 6. The car suffers 12 points of damage – it is significantly damaged, but is still operable.

Vehicles as Hazards

Burning Cars

Contacting a Burning Car inflicts 1d6 points of Lethal Damage, and ignites an inflammable materials worn or carried.
Being trapped inside a Burning Car inflicts 1d6 points of Lethal Damage, plus 1d6 points of Nonlethal Damage, per Round. Additionally, the victim must Save versus Constitution each Round, of suffer 1 point each of permanent Charisma, Dexterity, and Constitution damage.

Car Explosions

An exploding car inflicts 5d6 points of Lethal Damage to everyone in the Nearby Area, and ignites all inflammable materials therein. Victims not actually in the car can make a Dexterity Save for half damage.

Land Vehicles of the Swinging Sixties and Groovy Seventies

Vehicle Type	Occupancy (With Driver)	Vehicle Speed	AC	Hit Points	Handling Modifier	Special Characteristics
Ambulance	4 (+2 beds)	8	2	40	-2
Bicycle	1	2	0	10	+2
Bulldozer	1	3	4	100	-2	Front Shovel can be used as an attack for 1d6 + Damage Bonus. A Bulldozer can freely Ram without it (or its driver) incurring any damage)
Bus	41 – 61	8	2	50	-2	A typical yellow school bus or city bus.
Convertible or Roadster (Ford Thunderbird, Oldsmobile 98, MGB, etc.)	2 or 4	11	1	18	None	Dead body can fit in trunk.
Coupe (2-door)	4	10	2	20	None	Dead body can fit in trunk.
Coupe Utility (El Camino, Ranchero, etc.)	2 (4 can ride in cargo bed)	10	2	25	0	Two dead bodies can be placed in one layer on cargo bed.
Dune Buggy	2	8	1	15	+2
Economy Car (Renault 4, Volkswagen Beetle, Mini, etc.)	2 (+2 small or slender people)	7	1	15	0	Generally more popular in Europe than the United States before 1973 – except for the Beetle, which is ubiquitous. Dead body can fit in trunk, if disarticulated.
Fire Engine	6	8	3	100	-2
Half-Track	13	5	9	100	-2	Usually mounted with a heavy Machine Gun.
Jeep, Military	2 or 4	6	2	50	None	May be mounted with heavy Machine Gun when on the battlefield.
Limousine, or Luxury Car (Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow, Cadillac Eldorado, Lincoln Continental, Bentley T-Series, etc.)	4	10	2	40	0	Two dead bodies can fit in trunk.
Limousine, Stretch	8	8	2	60	-2	Two dead bodies can fit in trunk.
Limousine, Armored	4	8	6	80	0	Two dead bodies can fit in trunk.
Locomotive Engine (Diesel)	2	10	6	100	-2 *	Can only follow its track.
Moped	1	3	0	10	+2
Motorcycle	2	11	None	15	+2
Motorcycle, Chopper (“Digger” style)	2	11	None	15	-2	May grant the Asset “Cool Bike” when dealing with Bikers.
Motorcycle, with Sidecar	3	9	1	20	0	Dead body can be transported in sidecar.
Motorhome (Winnebago, etc.)	6	8	3	40	-2	Can store sufficient food and water for a week before resupply.
Muscle Car (Plymouth “Hemi ‘Cuda”, AMC Rebel, Pontiac GTO, etc.)	4	15	2	30	None	Mainly American-made. Dead body can fit in trunk.
Pickup Truck	2 (6 can ride in cargo bed)	10	2	30	None	Six dead bodies can be placed in one layer on cargo bed.
Police Patrol Car	2 (plus 2 prisoners in back)	10	2	30	+2	Generally based on a modified 4-door sedan. Partition prevents prisoners in back seat from attacking front seats.
Racecar, Formula	1	20	1	15	+2	Cannot go off-road.
Scooter (Vespa, Lambretta)	2	3	None	15	None	Common in Europe, unpopular the the United States.
Sedan (4-door)	5	10	2	20	None	The basic American car. Dead body can fit in trunk.
Sportscar (Jaguar E-Type, Porche 911, Alfa Romeo Spider, Corvette Sing Ray, etc.)	2 or 4	13	2	20	+2	European-made are generally considered superior. May grant the Asset “Sexy Car” to Driver.
Station Wagon	6	10	2	25	-2	Dead body can fit in trunk when back seats are folded down.
Tank (M48, M60, T55, etc.)	4	3	10*	100	-2	*Invulnerable to anything less than a Rocket-Propelled Grenade or Heavy Artillery Gun. The Tank’s own Heavy Artillery Gun inflicts 10d6 + gunner’s Damage Bonus.
Tractor, Farming	1	2	1	30	-2
Truck, Delivery	2	8	2	40	-2	Eight dead bodies will fit in one layer in back.
Truck, Semi Tractor (without Trailer)	2 (4 with sleeping compartment)	10	4	60	-2	Four dead bodies will fit in sleeping compartment.
Truck, 18-Wheeler (Tractor & Trailer)	2 (4 with sleeping compartment)	10	4	100	-4	Modern standardized shipping containers are are becoming common during the Groovy Age, but are not yet universal.
Van (and Camper Van)	2 – 6	10	4	30	-2	Often fancily decorated and/or outfitted with chairs, tables, and beds inside. Eight dead bodies will fit inside.
Van, Police (Paddy Wagon)	2, + 6 in back.	10	4	30	-2	Partition prevents prisoners in back from attacking front seats. Might also be used to transport members of the new SWAT units that are being created during the Groovy Age. Eight dead bodies will fit in one layer in back.

Vehicle Speed x 10 = Miles per hour

Vehicle Speed x 16 = approximate Kilometers per Hour

Modern Firearms for Ghastly Affair and GROOVY Ghastly Affair

05 Monday Apr 2021

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Ghastly Affair, Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, OGL, Uncanny Highway

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1960s, 1970s, 20th Century, Ghastly Affair, Gothic Gaming, Gothic Horror, Groovy Seventies, Guns, Modern Horror, OGL, Playtest, Seventies, Sixties, Swinging Sixties

Here are some “official” play-test rules for adding modern firearms to Ghastly Affair. They facilitate not only GROOVY Ghastly Affair Sagas set in the Swinging Sixties (and beyond), but Affairs involving characters traveling back and forth through time between the 18^th and 20^th centuries (perhaps by way of an old New England mansion riddled with dimensional portals).

About Modern Guns

A big difference between the assumed time periods of regular Ghastly Affair and GROOVY Ghastly Affair is the power and effectiveness of available firearms. While most guns of the Ghastly Age (1765 – 1820) are inaccurate smooth bore weapons, with relatively limited ranges and low rates of fire, the guns available to characters in the Swinging Sixties and Groovy Seventies are potentially much deadlier.

The Simple Approach

If you want a simpler, faster-moving game, simply treat an attack from modern firearms like any other, inflicting Lethal Damage of 1d6, plus the shooter’s Damage Bonus. In the simple approach, all long guns have a range of 1,000 feet, while all handguns and shotguns have a range of 300 feet. This is probably the approach you’ll want to use if your Saga involves a team of Parapsychologists investigating psychic phenomena, or is the type of Gothic Romance where young women in diaphanous gowns look over their shoulders as they flee old mansions in the night.

What follows is a more detailed and “realistic” treatment of guns that takes into account the capacities and particular characteristics of late 20^th century firearms. If your Sage involves a team of Demon Hunters bravely fighting an international Satanic conspiracy that has infested the highest levels of government, try the following rules.

The Detailed Approach

If the shooter only fires a single shot in a Round, a shot from a gun is treated just like any other ordinary attack in Ghastly Affair, usually inflicting 1d6 points of Lethal damage, plus the shooter’s Damage Bonus. (High caliber guns, however, inflict 2d6 +Damage Bonus).

If the type of the gun used allows for multiple shots in a ten-second Round, then the shooter must first announce how many shot they will be firing at the target, before the Attack Check is made. If the Check fails, all the shots are wasted. If the attack succeeds, it inflicts the usual damage for an attack, plus one additional point per shot fired. (Multiple shots from High caliber firearms, on the other hand, inflict two additional points per shot fired).

For example: An insane Cultist (Level 2 Everyman) fires five shots at a Parapsychologist from a Revolver. The cultist makes their Attack Check, and rolls a 3 for Damage. The Parapsychologist takes 9 points of Lethal Damage: 3 from the die roll, 1 additional because of the Cultist’s Damage Bonus, and 5 more because five shots were fired.

A Telescopic Sight (or “Scope”) grants the shooter a +2 Bonus on the Attack Check, if they only fire one shot that Round. This Bonus stacks with all others, For example a single shot from a Bolt Action Rifle with a Scope is made at a +4 Bonus.

Special characteristics for each type of firearms are detailed hereafter. Only weapons available during the mid 1960s to mid 1970s are included.

Assault Rifle (AK-47, FN FAL, M14, M16, G3, etc.)

Assault Rifles are lighter and more portable than Machine Guns. They differ from Submachine Guns in using medium-sized rifle cartridges, rather than handgun ammunition. An Assault Rifle can fire up to 150 shots per Round in full automatic mode. Most however, only have 30 round (detachable) magazines. The weapon can be reloaded in the same Round it is fired if a pre-loaded magazine is available. Otherwise it takes 3 Rounds to fully reload the magazine. An Assault Rifle has an effective range of 1,000 feet.

Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 150 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.
Spray: If fired in full automatic mode, an Assault Rifle can also be used to turn the entire Nearby area into a Hazard. The shooter does not make a normal Attack Check. However, any person in the affected area (or who tries to enter it that Round) must make a Dexterity Save, or take 1d6 damage. A Spray empties the entire magazine of the gun.

Derringer

These small single-shot handguns are designed to be concealed. Most derringers can only be loaded with a single shot, and have an effective range of 30 feet.

Concealable: A causal viewer will not know the carrier is armed. Someone who is actively looking for a concealed gun can make a Wisdom Check to notice the Derringer.
Quick Draw: The shooter’s side always wins initiative in the first Round of a Fight against opponents using firearms that do not have the Quick Draw characteristic.

Pistol, Revolver (.38 Special, .357 Magnum, .44 Magnum, etc.)

Most full-size revolvers hold 6 shots in their cylinder, and take a full Round to completely reload. They have an effective range of 300 feet.

Accurate: If a shooter fires only once in a Round, their Attack Check is made at a +2 Bonus.
Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 6 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.

Pistol, Snubnose (Colt Detective Special, Smith & Wesson Model 36, etc.)

Designed for use by detectives, these weapons are often carried in ankle holsters, pockets, in even inside purses. Most Snubnose Revolvers hold 6 shots in their cylinder, and take a full Round to completely reload. They have an effective range of 100 feet.

Concealable: A causal viewer will not know the carrier is armed. Someone who is actively looking for a concealed gun can make a Wisdom Check to notice the Pistol.
Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 6 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.
Quick Draw: The shooter’s side always wins initiative in the first Round of a Fight against opponents using firearms that do not have the Quick Draw characteristic.

Pistol, Saturday Night Special

These cheap guns hold 6 shots in their cylinder like any other Revolver, and take a full Round to completely reload. They only have an effective range of 60 feet, however.

Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 6 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.
Prone to Malfunction: There is a 1 in 20 chance per shot fired that the gun will either jam (wasting the entire Attack), or explode (inflicting 1d6 Lethal Damage on the shooter).

Pistol, Semi-Automatic (.45 Caliber M1911, 9mm Browning Hi-Power, Walter P38, etc. )

Most automatic Pistols have magazines that hold 7 to 15 shots. They can reloaded in the same Round they are fired, if a pre-filled magazine is available to be inserted. Otherwise, it takes a Round to fully reload the magazine with bullets. They have an effective range of 300 feet.

Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 9 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.

Pistol, Semi-Automatic Pocket (Walter PPK, Baretta M418, Marakov Pistol, etc.)

These small semi-automatic Pistols are often carried by undercover operatives. Like Snubnose Revolvers, they can be easily carried inside a waistband, or concealed in pockets and purses. A Semi-Automatic Pocket Pistol has a magazine of 6 to 9 Shots, and takes 1 Round to Reload (unless a pre-loaded magazine is swapped in). It has an effective range of 100 feet.

Concealable: A causal viewer will not know the carrier is armed. Someone who is actively looking for a concealed gun can make a Wisdom Check to notice the Pistol.
Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 9 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.
Quick Draw: The shooter’s side always wins initiative in the first Round of a Fight against opponents using firearms that do not have the Quick Draw characteristic.

Pistol, Machine (Stechkin APS, Skorpion, MAC-10, etc.)

Machine Pistols are automatic weapons that use handgun ammunition and are designed to be used with one hand. A Machine Pistol can fire up to 150 shots per Round in full automatic mode. Most however, only have 30 round magazines. The weapon can be reloaded in the same Round it is fired if a pre-loaded magazine is available. Otherwise it takes 3 Rounds to fully reload the magazine. Like other handguns, Machine Pistols have an effective range of 300 feet.

Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 150 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.
Spray: If fired in full automatic mode, a Machine Pistol can also be used to turn the entire Nearby area into a Hazard. The shooter does not make a normal Attack Check. However, any person in the affected area (or who tries to enter it that Round) must make a Dexterity Save, or take 1d6 damage. A Spray empties the entire magazine.
Hard to Control: Machine Pistols are notoriously hard to control when firing more than 9 shots in a Round. Unless the shooter employs a stock, they will suffer a -2 Penalty to their Attack Check, and an unmodified roll of 20 further indicates they have actually shot a random target near them – possibly a friend or ally.

Rifle, Bolt-action (M1903 Springfield, Lee-Enfield, Karabiner 98K, etc.)

The magazine of a typical Bolt-Action Rifle holds 5 bullets, and takes a Round to fully reload. A modern rifle has an effective range of 3,000 feet.

Accurate: If a shooter fires only once in a Round, their Attack Check is made at a +2 Bonus.
Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 3 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.

Rifle, Lever-Action (Winchester Rifle, Marlin 1894, etc.)

The magazine of a typical Lever-Action Rifle holds 7 – 10 bullets, and takes a Round to fully reload. A modern rifle has an effective range of 3,000 feet.

Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 6 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.

Rifle, Semi-automatic Carbine (M1 Carbine, M1 Garand, AR-15, etc.)

The magazine of a typical Semi-automatic Carbine holds 15 bullets, and takes a Round to fully reload. A Carbine has an effective range of 1,000 feet.

Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 9 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.

Submachine Gun (Tommy Gun, Sterling, Uzi, etc.)

Submachine Guns use the same type of ammunition as handguns, unlike Assault Rifles and full Machine Guns. A Submachine Gun can fire up to 150 shots per Round in full automatic mode. Most however, only have 30 round magazines. The gun can be reloaded the same Round it is fired if a fresh, fully-loaded magazine is available, but reloading an empty magazine with bullets takes 3 Rounds. A Submachine Gun has an effective range of 500 feet.

Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 150 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.
Spray: If fired in full automatic mode, a Submachine Gun can also be used to turn the entire Nearby area into a Hazard. The shooter does not make a normal Attack Check. However, any person in the affected area (or who tries to enter it that Round) must make a Dexterity Save, or take 1d6 damage. A Spray empties the entire magazine of the gun.

Machine Gun (M1919, M60, PK Machine Gun, etc.)

A Machine Gun is battlefield weapon that is larger and heavier than an Assault Rifle (and much larger than a Submachine Gun), using high caliber ammunition that is typically fed into the weapon in belts. A typical belt will have 100 to 200 rounds on it, but two operators with sufficient ammunition can keep a Machine Gun running for a full Turn (when it overheats and stops working). It takes 1 Round for a single operator to reload a new belt into a Machine Gun without aid. A Machine Gun has a range of 3,000 feet.

High Damage: A Machine Gun shot inflicts a base damage of 2d6 + Damage Bonus.
Heavy and Awkward: Shooter suffers a -2 Penalty on the Attack Check, unless the gun is securely mounted.
Multiple Shots: The shooter can fire up to 150 shots at a single target in a Round. The amount must be announced before the Attack Check is made. If the Attack is successful, the target takes additional damage equal to double the number of shots fired. If the Attack fails, all the shots are wasted.
Spray: If fired in full automatic mode, a Machine Gun can also be used to turn a 100’ x 300’ area into a Hazard. The shooter does not make a normal Attack Check. However, any person in the affected area (or who tries to enter it that Round) must make a Dexterity Save, or take 2d6 damage. A Spray uses a full belt of ammunition.

Shotgun, Break-Action

A Break-Action Shotgun can only be loaded with a single shot a time. It can fire either Shot Shells packed with many small pellets, or large Slugs of solid lead. Reloading takes 1 Round. The effective range of the gun is 300 feet.

Fire Shot Shell: +2 Bonus against targets within 100 feet.
Fire Slug: Inflicts 2d6 + Damage Bonus.

Shotgun, Double-Barreled

A Double-Barreled Shotgun is a break-action weapon with two side-by side barrels that can each be loaded with a single shot at a time. The shooter can fire one barrel at a time, or both simultaneously. Each barrel can be loaded with either Shot Shells packed with many small pellets, or large Slugs of solid lead. Reloading takes 1 Round. The effective range of the gun is 300 feet.

Fire Shot Shell (Single Barrel): +2 Bonus on the Attack Check against targets within 100 feet.
Fire Shot Shell (Two Barrels): +4 Bonus on the Attack Check against targets within 100 feet.
Fire Slug (Single Barrel): Inflicts 2d6 + Damage Bonus.
Fire Slug (Two Barrels): Inflicts 2d6 + 4, + Damage Bonus.

Shotgun, Pump-action

A Pump-action Shotgun can hold five shells in its magazine, located in a tube under barrel. The forestock is moved back and forward to expel used shells, and load new ones. The magazine can be loaded with either Shot Shells packed with many small pellets, or large Slugs of solid lead. Reloading the magazine takes 1 Round. The effective range of the gun is 300 feet.

Fire Shot Shell: +2 Bonus on the Attack Check against targets within 100 feet.
Fire Slug: Inflicts 2d6 + Damage Bonus.

Shotgun, Sawed-Off

A Sawed-Off Shotgun is usually a single-or double barrel Shotgun whose barrel has been shortened to create a more maneuverable and concealable weapon. It has an effective range of only 100 feet, however.

Quick Draw: The shooter’s side always wins initiative in the first Round of a Fight against opponents using firearms that do not have the Quick Draw characteristic.
Concealable Under a Jacket: Wisdom Check to notice, if the bearer has the weapon inside a garment at least the size of a typical suit jacket.
Fire Shot Shell (Single Barrel): +2 Bonus on the Attack Check against targets within 100 feet.
Fire Shot Shells (Two Barrels): +4 Bonus on the Attack Check against targets within 100 feet.
Fire Slug (Single Barrel): Inflicts 2d6 + Damage Bonus.
Fire Slugs (Two Barrels): Inflicts 2d6 + 4, + Damage Bonus.

Mysterious Road Exits off the Uncanny Highway

10 Monday Aug 2020

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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20th Century, American Horror, Americana, Ghastly Affair, Gothic Gaming, Gothic Horror, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Groovy Horror, Middle America, Midwest Horror, Prairie Horror, Road Trip, Rural America, Seventies, Sixties

There are many unmarked exits off the Uncanny Highway of U.S. Route 28. Should anyone be curious (and foolish) enough to follow one, roll on the following table.

d100	This mysterious exit off the highway eventually leads to…
1 – 2	a volunteer firehouse.
3 – 4	a roller-rink.
5 – 6	a machine-gun firing range.
7 – 8	a brothel. (5% likely to actually be a part of a C.I.A. mind control experiment.)
9 – 10	the clubhouse of a motorcycle club (or gang).
11 – 12	a “gravity hill” (Place were objects appear to roll uphill.)
13 – 14	an abandoned hospital. (30% chance that all equipment was abandoned and left in place.)
15 – 16	an abandoned asylum. (30% chance that all equipment was abandoned and left in place.)
17 – 18	an abandoned drive-thru.
19 – 20	a Native American Reservation.
21 – 22	an abandoned house. (50% likely to be filled with Satanic graffiti.)
23 – 24	a strange house. (d8. The strange feature of the house is its: 1 = unusual architectural style. 2 = unusual materials. 3 = strangely colored windows. 4 = complete lack of windows. 5 = lack of any apparent door. 6 = holiday decorations kept up all year. 7 = obvious lack of electricity or telephone wires. 8 = odd paint-job.
25 – 26	a bizarre sculpture made of discarded items.
27 – 28	a working farm. (25% chance the farm is worked by a cult.)
29 – 30	an abandoned farm. (10% likely it is now a criminal hideout.)
31 – 32	a farm stand selling fresh produce. (Abandoned in winter.)
33 – 34	a lone, abandoned windmill.
35 – 36	a deserted town.
37 – 38	a mine.
39 – 40	an isolated, but functioning town. (25% chance the local “festival” is occurring)
41 – 42	a forgotten state (or national) park.
43 – 44	a factory. (10% chance all signage is in an unidentifiable language and alphabet, and it is impossible to figure out what the factory is producing).
45 – 46	an abandoned factory. (50% chance it is used teenagers for drinking and sex).
47 – 48	a well-maintained cemetery. (10% chance the tombstones are inscribed in a foreign, or unknown language.)
49 – 50	an overgrown, abandoned cemetery. (50% likely the deceased were members of an obscure religious cult.)
51 – 52	a natural cave. (30% likely to be a state park, or operated for profit.)
53 – 54	a pond or lake.
55 – 56	a field where a trailer or RV is parked.
57 – 58	a clearing where 1d4 unoccupied tents are pitched. (10% likely to find blood spattered inside the tents)
59 – 60	an active hobo camp.
61 – 62	an abandoned train depot.
63 – 64	an abandoned garage.
65 – 66	a utility complex. (Electric generator, sewage treatment plant, etc.)
67 – 68	a garbage dump.
69 – 70	a toxic (or radioactive) waste dump. (Save versus Constitution each Turn or become sickened.)
71 – 72	a bomb shelter.
73 – 74	an isolated church. (5% chance the religion practiced here isn’t Christianity at all.)
75 – 76	a Christian shrine. (25% chance the Saint honored is otherwise unknown.)
77 – 78	a pagan shrine.
79 – 80	a secret germ-warfare laboratory.
81 – 82	A C.I.A. (or K.G.B.) safehouse.
83 – 84	a solitary artist’s studio.
85 – 86	an active military base. (5% chance the soldiers are not American.)
87 – 88	an abandoned military base. (25% chance the evidence of a strange experiment is still here.)
89	a secret military base housing a U.F.O.
90 – 91	a dry well shaft. (5% chance a child is currently at the bottom.)
92 – 93	a serial killer’s dump site. (1d12 bodies)
94 – 95	an abandoned car (or truck). (Determine vehicle characteristics as you would for a car on the road.)
96	an abandoned plane (or helicopter).
97	literally Nowhere – it continues on infinitely.
98	Hell.
100	Heaven.

Random CB Radio Handles from the Uncanny Highway

04 Monday May 2020

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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Although it has actually existed in the United States since the 1940s, CB (“Citizens Band”) radio really came of age with technological advances in the late 1960s. It exploded in popularity during the 70s – especially among truckers. By the 1970s most users were identifying themselves by self-chosen names, or “handles”, rather than the assigned call signs that were technically required under the law. In fact, before 1983 it was actually illegal to use a CB without a license in the U.S. – most users simply ignored the law, which was almost never enforced. In the days before the Internet and mobile phones, CB radio was the best means for truckers (and other drivers) to keep informed about hazards and opportunities along the road. And on the Uncanny Highway, the hazards of the road can be strange indeed!

Some results on the following table give two options separated by a slash. In general, GMs and Presenters can use the first option for a male, and the second for a female. Of course, players can also use the table to decide on CB handles for their PCs.

d20, twice	You’re listening to…
1	Rubber	Guy / Gal
2	Hard / Silky	Hawk / Dove
3	Shadow	Rider
4	Fearless	Trucker
5	Flyin’	Driver
6	Lovin’	Bull / Butch
7	Christian	Dave / Jane (or other name)
8	Speedy	Smoker (or Toker)
9	Big	Daddy / Momma
10	Fightin’	Soldier
11	Steel	Roller
12	Ohio (or other state)	Dog (or Doggy)
13	Mountain	Man / Woman
14	Rockin’	Duck
15	Groovy	Hauler
16	Swinging	Hammer / Fingers
17	Smooth	Eagle / Swan
18	American	Racer
19	Sergeant	King / Queen
20	Sweet	Stallion / Bee

Random Bar Stories from the Uncanny Highway, Part Two – Tales Told by Women

28 Tuesday Apr 2020

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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20th Century, Adventure Seeds, American Horror, Americana, Ghastly Affair, Gothic Gaming, Gothic Horror, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Groovy Horror, Middle America, Midwest Horror, Prairie Horror, Road Trip, Rural America, scenerio seeds, Seventies, Sixties, story seeds

Like last week’s “Tales Told By Men”, the following conversation starters can be used to add depth and color to NPCs, or as scenario seeds for adventures along the Uncanny Highway of the 1960s and 70s.

Remember that the 1960s were very sexist times, and in many towns single women could not actually sit at a bar and order drinks. In some places, women were prohibited from even entering drinking establishments unless they were accompanied by men. Some bars banned women altogether. By the 1970s, however, most gender-segregated bars were being legally forced to end their discriminatory practices. Of course, along the Uncanny Highway one can’t even be sure that all the patrons of a bar are human!

(d12, d6) The obviously tipsy woman says:

d6	I just left my man because…
1	he is cheating on me with his secretary.
2	I caught him with my own sister!
3	I found out he is actually a wanted criminal.
4	he has a whole other family in another state!
5	I found his disgusting collection of “dirty magazines”.
6	he beat me up again, but for the last time.

d6	My best friend…
1	wants me to get involved as one of her “distributors”. Somebody else told me its a “pyramid scheme”, but I don’t know.
2	wants me to go to some weird “self-help” seminar in the city.
3	know the number of a guy in the city who helps out women who’ve got a certain kind of problem. You know what I mean.
4	just joined this commune where they share everything. I mean, everything!
5	has been acting really weird lately, like she’s been replaced with a robot or something.
6	has been missing for a week now.

d6	Some guy is following me, and…
1	he’s just come into this bar.
2	I don’t think he’s even human.
3	nobody else can see him.
4	I know its because of what I saw.
5	I think he’s that guy who kidnapped all those women.
6	if he keeps it up he’s going to get shot!

d6	My family is driving me nuts because…
1	they keep wanting me to have a baby.
2	they want me to quit my job.
3	they want me to get married to some guy I’ve never met.
4	they want me to take my children to “The Festival”. Understand, my family been doing it for a very long time, but I just don’t want to any more.
5	I won’t take in my Grandma, even though she only eats raw meat.
6	my husband won’t loan my loser brother any more money.

d6	*My child* died because…**
1	he was born without skin. The doctor insists the chemical factory had nothing to do with it.
2	my little boy killed her. Nobody believes me, but I know he’s evil.
3	he wandered off to that old abandoned house.
4	she ran onto the highway.
5	the Satanists killed her, and made it look like an accident.
6	some strange poison gas was released from the military base.

d6	*I know it sounds crazy, but I* think my husband might be…**
1	a murderer.
2	planning to kill me.
3	a Satanist.
4	an alien.
5	a Soviet agent.
6	married to another woman.

d6	I just saw…
1	a man forcing a woman into a car in the parking lot.
2	someone being murdered!
3	a U.F.O.!
4	a werewolf!
5	an angel.
6	my own double!

d6	I found Jesus…
1	in women’s prison. But I swear I didn’t put that poison my husband’s drink.
2	after my family died in a gas explosion. Like I told the police, I was out visiting friends, and still feel so guilty.
3	and stopped hooking. Well, mostly.
4	after my boyfriend shot me and left me for dead.
5	after my children went missing.
6	when he stepped out of that U.F.O.

d6	I’ve lost…
1	my children, and need someone to help me find them.
2	my memory. How did I get here?
3	my way. Where am I?
4	my purse, and need someone to help me out.
5	a small package wrapped in brown paper. If you find it, don’t shake it.
6	my soul.

d6	I know you won’t believe it, but…
1	I can read your aura.
2	my dog can speak.
3	my child is the reincarnation of a soldier killed in the Second World War.
4	there’s a puddle of blood and slime in the restroom.
5	I’m actually nobility.
6	I can speak to the dead.

d6	It’s funny that…
1	my husband actually thinks it was his idea for us to become swingers!
2	nobody believes witches are real anymore.
3	some people think women are weak, because I just killed a man with my bare hands.
4	the P.T.A. thinks I’m a bad parent, with what I know about them!
5	people don’t realize what’s buried under the trailer park.
6	no one sees that Satan is alive and well – and living in this town!

d6	I know I shouldn’t think this, but…
1	my kids aren’t really mine at all.
2	maybe it’s a cop that’s responsible for all those body parts they keep finding on the side of the road.
3	I suspect my pastor knows more than he’s telling about those kids who disappeared last week.
4	I don’t think the soldiers that passed through town are even American.
5	I just want to run away from my family and go somewhere, anywhere, else.
6	clowns are sexy.

Random Bar Stories from the Uncanny Highway, Part One – Tales Told by Men

21 Tuesday Apr 2020

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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If you visit any of the fine drinking establishments that line the Uncanny Highway of U.S. Route 28, you are guaranteed to encounter a man with a story to tell. Buy him another drink, and listen as he enlightens you.

The following tables assume the same 1960s and 1970s time frame as the other entries in the “Uncanny Highway” series. Naturally, many would also make good subjects for Country & Western songs!

(d12, d6) The obviously tipsy man says:

d6	*My wife ran off with….*
1	my best friend.
2	my own brother.
3	some college kid.
4	that guy who was working on our house.
5	a biker.
6	another woman.

d6	*My dog was killed by…*
1	a speeding big-rig. I didn’t get a look at the guy. Come to think of it, I don’t remember even seeing a driver at all.
2	my own wife. After she came back from that trip, he was growling at her all the time, and wouldn’t let her pet him any more.
3	my no-good neighbor, because my ol’ boy was digging up something in the yard.
4	some wild animal. I don’t know what it was exactly, but it sure was big!
5	frickin’ Satanists. They’re everywhere around here.
6	space aliens. They cut out his eyes and drained all his blood!

d6	*My best friend…*
1	is apparently banging my wife. I think I’m gonna do something about it – after I get good and liquored up!
2	turned out to be “one of them”. You know what I mean.
3	ratted on me to the IRS. I found those gold coins buried with that skeleton on my property, so I own them, fair and square.
4	just married some foreign chick who’s apparently “allergic to sunlight”.
5	is a cop, so I can get away with anything.
6	told me about some money supposedly stashed in an abandoned house.

d6	*I’m waiting to be arrested, ‘cause I just killed…*
1	my cheating wife.
2	that bastard that’s been banging my wife.
3	my cheating wife and her bastard lover.
4	my own brother.
5	the man they sent to kill me.
6	the sheriff.

d6	*I lost all my money…*
1	in Los Vegas.
2	to my wife in the divorce.
3	to that bastard I used to be in business with.
4	to the goddamn IRS.
5	playing the ponies.
6	on a bad real estate deal.

d6	I lost my job because…
1	some weird illegal immigrants took it. Funny thing is, I can’t even figure out what country they’re supposed to be from. They don’t speak any language I ever heard of.
2	of stupid Government regulations. We had to stop digging on that hill, but they wouldn’t tell us why.
3	someone made completely false allegations against me. I never met any of those women.
4	the boss’ wife thinks I “look like a criminal”.
5	the place got burned down. I think the boss did it for the insurance money.
6	my boss didn’t actually have any licenses or permits for what we were doing. Now, I can’t even find the bastard.

d6	*I just made some easy money…*
1	at the track.
2	burying some sacks for a guy. I didn’t ask what was inside, but they smelled really bad.
3	pouring a concrete floor for some guy who needed it done fast.
4	selling my camera and the pictures inside to a guy dressed in a black suit and sunglasses.
5	moving furniture in the middle of the night.
6	soundproofing a guy’s basement, and installing metal rings on the walls. He paid me much more than the job really costs. He also wanted a stain resistant floor that would be easy to mop up, but I don’t do floors.

d6	*I just saw….*
1	a ghost!
2	Bigfoot!
3	a U.F.O.!
3	Jesus!
4	the Devil!
5	a freakin’ tiger roaming the woods!
6	what a Federal agent look like without it’s human disguise!

d6	**I don’t trust The Government, because…**
1	I saw them packing dope in the body bags when I was in ‘Nam
2	the FBI just arrested my brother, who had nothing to do with those girls disappearing.
3	I’ve actually been aboard a U.F.O., and met the aliens. They look like you and me, but with big black eyes. You know, I could take you to meet them.
4	my pastor told me about all the Commies, International Bankers, and Radical Feminists that have infiltrated Congress.
5	when I was a cop they actually tried to recruit me into the Satanic coven that runs Washington D.C.
6	my friend whose a doctor told me the fluoride they put in the water is actually a Soviet plot to make Americans too weak to resist a takeover.

d6	*I found Jesus…*
1	in prison. That’s when I got this here tattoo.
2	on the battlefield. Let me show you my scars.
3	in the midst of my divorce. The Lord told me he would take her back home to Heaven, and he did!
4	after my wife got murdered. They never did find out who did it, and I doubt they ever will.
5	when I was getting off junk. After the bugs stopped crawling under my skin, I saw The Lord clear as day.
6	while I was banging a hooker. I think she still works the truck-stop nearby.

d6	I bet you…
1	can’t tell what I’ve got hidden in my shirt. Go on, guess!
2	don’t know why I’ve got this here silver bullet.
3	can’t beat me at arm-wrestling.
4	can’t guess what I’ve got in my car. It’s a doozy!
5	don’t know why that guy over there is staring at us.
6	want to know about the weird crap that’s been going on.

d6	I’m leaving this town, because…
1	I found a good job driving delivery trucks from town to town. I could set you up too, if you can keep your mouth shut.
2	I got myself a “mail-order bride”. I swear she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve even seen. Thing is, she was raised in some weird religion that won’t let her eat salt, or have any iron in the house.
3	of all the weird murders.
4	There’s some guy who looks just like me doing some messed-up stuff, and the cops have got it in for me.
5	I know what what’s really going on with all the new construction around the old military base.
6	I just know something really bad is about to happen.

Roadside Bars of the Uncanny Highway – U.S. Route 28

14 Tuesday Apr 2020

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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Like the other generators in the “Uncanny Highway – U.S. Route 28” series, the following tables assume a time-frame of the mid 1960s to mid 1970s.

Initial Impression of the Bar

d10	The bar is named for…
1 – 2	a woman. (“Shirley’s”, “Mother’s Bar”, “Flo’s Place”, etc.)
2 – 4	a man. (“Jake’s Roadhouse”, “Harry’s”, “Nick’s Pub”, etc.)
5	an animal. (“The Stallion”, “Eagle Inn”, “Black Cat Tavern”, etc.)
6	a local geographical feature. (“Mount George Inn”, “Black River Tavern”, “Bald Hill Bar”, etc.)
7	an occupation. (“The Miner”, “Trucker’s Tavern”, “Huntsman’s Lodge”, etc.)
8	an inanimate object (or objects). (“Cannon Club”, “Big Rig Inn”, “Five Nails”, etc.)
9	a foreign locale. (“German Inn”, “Old England Bar”, “China Saloon”, etc.)
10	another kind of business or establishment. (“Junkyard Bar”, “The Abbey Lounge”, “Factory Bar”, etc.)

d12	The bar’s sign is…
1	intact neon letter above the door
2	neon and above the door, but with 1d4 letters burned out or broken.
3	cut out letters affixed above the door.
4	cut out letters affixed above the door, with 1d4 letters missing.
5	nicely painted above the door.
6	crudely painted above the door.
7	painted directly on the front door.
8	a wooden plaque affixed to the facade.
9	a painted banner hang above the door.
10	just a painted A-frame standing outside the door.
11	lettered on the front windows.
12	apparently missing.

d12	The exterior of the building is…
1 – 2	a flat-topped brick structure.
3 – 5	a flat-topped wooden structure with clapboard siding.
6	an ordinary wooden house.
7	an ordinary brick house.
8	a faux “Tudor” (half-timber) structure.
9	a faux Polynesian (Tiki) structure.
10	faux adobe (or actual adobe in the Southwest).
11	a faux “Old West” saloon with a “boomtown” facade.
12	a railway car.

25% chance of one or two gas pumps outside building. If there are two, one will be regular gas, and the other diesel.

d12	The bar appears to attract primarily…
1 – 2	blue-collar workers.
3	bikers.
4	truckers.
5	old men.
6	Country Music fans in cowboy and cowgirl outfits.
7	college kids.
8	young singles looking for partners.
9	people of a single ethnicity (other than white American).
10	police.
11	swinging couples.
12	the gay community. (LGBT+ people, but that term didn’t exist in the 1960s or 1970s.)

d8	The condition of the building is…
1	excellent.
2 – 4	generally good.
5	poor due to neglect.
6	poor due to obvious vandalism.
7	badly weathered.
8	mostly good, but there are bullet holes in the side.

d8	The parking lot is…
1	very small, but only partially filled.
2	very small, and completely filled.
3	moderately sized, and largely empty.
4	moderately sized, and half empty.
5	moderately sized, but mostly filled.
6	large, and largely empty.
7	large, and half-filled.
8	large, half-filled, and evidently a popular trolling ground for prostitutes.

The types of vehicles in the parking lot will be consistent with the primary patrons. Motorcycles in a biker bar, pickup trucks for Country Music fans, station wagons for suburban swinging couples, etc.

Inside the Bar

d20	The interior décor is…
1 – 5	unremarkable / consistent with the bar’s name and exterior.
6	filled with military memorabilia.
7	filled with local memorabilia.
8	filled with music memorabilia (appropriate to primary patrons).
9	a faux Irish pub.
10	faux German.
11	faux Medieval.
12	a faux barn.
13	Viking-themed.
14	Mexican-themed.
15	filled with hunting trophies.
16	filled with fishing trophies.
17	festooned with Christmas lights.
18	nautical-themed.
19	Tiki.
20	psychedelic.

d10	The behavior of the patrons is….
1 – 4	like those of any average bar of its type.
5	rowdy and belligerent.
6	friendly and welcoming.
7	extremely unfriendly to outsiders.
8	joyless, and oddly mechanical.
9	quietly menacing.
10	the complete opposite of what one would expect.

d20	The inside smells primarily like…
1 – 8	cigarettes.
9 – 10	cooking meat.
11 – 12	deep-fry oil
13	sweat.
14	incense.
15	mold.
16	dirt.
17	body odor.
18	rotten wood.
19	dry wood.
20	nothing in particular.

d20	The floor is…
1	faux-brick linoleum (or vinyl).
2	faux-wood linoleum (or vinyl).
3	faux-stone linoleum (or vinyl).
4 – 5	patterned linoleum (or vinyl).
6	badly-cracked, faux-brick linoleum (or vinyl).
7	badly-cracked, faux-wood linoleum (or vinyl).
8	badly-cracked, faux-stone linoleum (or vinyl).
9 – 10	badly-cracked, patterned linoleum (or vinyl).
11 – 12	black and white checkerboard tiles.
13	bare concrete.
14 – 15	badly-worn wood.
16 – 17	stained wood.
18 – 19	painted wood.
20	wood parquet.

40% chance the floor is covered with sawdust.

d100	If the floor is searched, you will find…
1 – 9	nothing special besides cigarette butts and beer. (If floor is sawdust, beer will be soaked up.)
10 – 11	an especially large quantity of nut shells.
12 – 13	dead insects.
14 – 15	someone’s wallet (with d100 dollars).
16 – 17	a glob of spit, still wet. (Roll again if floor is sawdust.)
18 – 19	spattered paint. (If floor is sawdust, paint is underneath.)
20 – 21	food wrapping from a nearby eatery.
22 – 23	1d6 spent bullet casings.
24 – 25	dried blood.
26 – 27	a condom (25% chance to be used.)
28 – 29	a set of house keys.
30 – 31	a pair of panties.
32 – 33	a lady’s stocking.
34 – 35	a pair of men’s underwear.
36 – 37	a woman’s anklet.
38 – 39	a wedding ring (Equal chances to be a man’s or a woman’s.)
40 – 41	a broken necklace.
42 – 43	broken glass.
44 – 45	a lost police shield.
46 – 47	a child’s toy.
48 – 49	a store receipt (25% chance the combination of items has disturbing implications. For example: rope, plastic sheeting, duct tape, nylon stockings, a dog collar, bleach, and a set of knives.)
50 – 51	a phone number written on a napkin.
52 – 53	“Help” written on a napkin in a woman’s handwriting.
54 – 54	a business card.
55 – 56	an unexploded firecracker.
57 – 58	unused tickets for a local Amusement Park.
59 – 60	a strange occult design faintly scrawled on the floor in chalk.
61 – 62	a woman’s shoe.
63 – 64	the broken heel from a high-heeled shoe.
65 – 66	a man’s shoe or boot.
67 – 68	a severed finger. (50% either a man’s or woman’s.)
69 – 70	1d4 human teeth.
71 – 72	a small, bloody knife. (Any sawdust on the floor will be stuck to knife along with the blood.)
73 – 74	a page from a Bible, with a verse circled.
75 – 76	a page from a phone book, with a name circled.
77 – 78	a religious tract.
79 – 80	a gemstone, evidently fallen from a ring.
81 – 82	a muddy shoe-print.
83 – 84	a small puddle of urine. (If floor is sawdust, urine will be soaked up.)
85 – 86	two halves of a ripped photograph. (Equal chances to be of a man or a woman.)
87 – 88	a watch. (25% chance to be an expensive brand.)
89 – 90	a dead mouse.
91 – 92	a live mouse.
93 – 94	a crumpled break-up letter.
95 – 96	a broken pencil.
97 – 98	a chicken bone.
99 – 100	a local guidebook, with a bloody fingerprint.

People and Events

d8	The bartender appears to be a(n)…
1	attractive young woman, (5% chance she is also the owner.)
2	young woman, (50% chance she is also the owner.)
3	handsome, middle-aged man, (25% chance he is also the owner.)
4	middle-aged man, (75% chance he is also the owner.)
5	attractive middle-aged woman, (75% chance she is also the owner.)
6	middle-aged woman, (75% chance she is also the owner.)
7	older man, (85% chance she is also the owner.)
8	older woman, (95% chance she is also the owner.)

d100	…with…
1 – 3	one eye.
4 – 6	an obvious scar.
7 – 9	missing teeth.
10 – 12	glasses.
13 – 15	a lisp.
16 – 18	a filthy mouth.
19 – 21	a dog behind the counter.
22 – 24	a pistol on their hip.
25 – 27	notably large breasts / muscles.
28 – 30	badly dyed hair.
31 – 33	an out-of-date hairstyle.
34 – 36	unfashionable clothes.
37 – 39	a very fashionable outfit.
40 – 42	a flamboyant manner of pouring drinks.
43 – 45	a distinct lack of education.
46 – 48	an obviously high level of education.
49 – 51	strange jewelry.
52 – 54	many tattoos. (50% likely to be blue prison tattoos inked with cigarette ash and spit.)
55 – 57	a bad leg.
58 – 60	a bad attitude.
61 – 63	a sympathetic ear for all patrons
64 – 66	no interest in hearing your problems.
67 – 69	an uncanny insight into their patrons’ true desires
70 – 72	seemingly endless stories about their past.
73 – 75	a “catch phrase” that they always seem to work into any conversation.
76 – 78	extremely racist and prejudicial opinions.
79 – 81	an eagerness to share the Good News of Jesus Christ.
82 – 84	strong belief in various conspiracy theories.
85 – 87	professed psychic abilities.
88 – 90	a hatred of hippies and “reds”.
91 – 93	a sympathetic view of hippies and the counterculture.
94 – 95	an encyclopedic knowledge of liquor.
96 – 97	an eagerness to share the teachings of their Guru.
98 – 99	a strangely archaic way of speaking.
100	a striking resemblance to someone famous. (10% chance they actually are that person – or their clone!)

d100	Your attention is attracted by…
1 – 11	a fight breaking among 2d4 patrons.
12 – 13	a man with a flamboyant cowboy outfit.
14 – 15	a pair of identical twins.
16 – 17	a man with a loaded pistol set in front of him.
18 – 19	a plain, small, and unassuming woman who is easily consuming more whiskey than seems possible. She has already drunk several men “under the table”.
20 – 21	a nun.
22 – 23	a beautiful woman, dressed like a high-fashion model, and wearing sunglasses. She drinks alone.
24 – 25	an artist drawing portraits.
26 – 27	a photographer taking snapshots.
28 – 29	a police detective showing someone’s photograph to patrons.
30 – 31	a nervous man who stares at everyone entering the bar.
32 – 33	a silent man in sunglasses, wearing a black suit and fedora. His briefcase in on the table or bar.
34 – 35	a man playing solitaire with an a strange set of cards.
36 – 37	a woman reading palms.
38 – 39	1d4 clown(s).
40 – 41	a Native American, dressed in a traditional outfit.
42 – 43	a group of 1d4+1 men playing “pinfinger” or “five finger fillet” with a knife and their outstretched hands.
44 – 45	a man with 1d4 obviously frightened young women.
46 – 47	a preacher (or other devotee) handing out religious tracts.
48 – 49	a young women approaching one patron after another, begging for a ride.
50 – 51	1d4 hippies.
52 – 53	a middle-aged woman looking for her husband.
54 – 55	a man with a long white beard hanging to his belly.
56 – 57	a breathtakingly beautiful woman who is collecting free drinks.
58 – 59	1d4 police who have entered the bar to make an arrest. (If the bar primarily serves LGTQ+ people, the police may be arresting the patrons. If the bar has strippers, the police may be arresting the dancers, or the owner.)
60 – 61	1 or 2 masked men with guns who suddenly burst in and demand money.
62 – 63	a dog wandering around the bar.
64 – 65	a black cat wandering around the bar.
66 – 67	a man who runs into the bar, yelling that he just encountered a U.F.O.
68 – 69	a man who runs into the bar, yelling that he just encountered a famous local ghost.
70 – 71	a strange creature briefly visible in the window.
72 – 73	a fire breaking out in the bar.
74 – 75	a section of the ceiling collapsing.
76 – 77	1d4 people in archaic outfits.
78 – 79	an obnoxious drunk stumbling into everyone and everything.
80 – 81	a man so drunk he falls off the bar stool unconscious.
82 – 83	a glowing ball of light that moves slowly across the room.
84 – 85	inexplicable banging or tapping sounds.
86 – 87	a muffled cry for help, but from no obvious source.
88 – 89	a bullet (or rock) crashing through a window.
90 – 91	a hitchhiker you’ve previously seen on the side of the road.
92 – 93	an unaccompanied child walking into the bar.
94 – 95	a woman running into the bar, screaming that she just escaped a kidnapper (or killer).
96 – 97	an African-American man with a guitar, who sits down and pours a dark powder on the ground around himself while he mutters something about keeping the “hellhounds” away.
98 – 99	a family who suddenly enters, seeking help for their broken-down automobile.
100	an automobile crashing into the bar!

Obviously out-of-place or annoying patrons will eventually be asked to leave by the Bartender.

Food and Drink

d6	The bar serves…
1	a unique cocktail made nowhere else.
2	a wide selection of beers, but only a small election of spirits.
3	a seemingly endless selection of alcohol.
4	especially stiff drinks.
5	watered-down drinks.
6	only local brands.

A normal 1960s or 1970s roadside bar serves 1d4 brands of beer, and 2d6 other liquors. In most bars, all the beer will be one of the big national brands. Modern-style craft beers are basically non-existent, but small regional and local brands do exist in some areas.

d6	The food is…
1	nothing but bar snacks. (Potato chips, peanuts, pretzels, popcorn, pickled eggs, etc.)
2	expensive, but high-quality.
3	both good and cheap.
4	greasy.
5	an unexpected, exotic cuisine.
6	disgustingly inedible.

Attractions and Amenities

d20, 1d10 times.	Other attractions and amenities include…
1	a dart board.
2	pool table(s).
3	1d6 strippers / burlesque dancers. (Mostly topless in the 1960s and 1970s, but full nude dancing exists in some places after 1969. Stripper poles aren’t introduced until 1972.)
4	a jukebox.
5	a stage for live performances.
6	a dance floor.
7	a television.
8	a pay phone.
9	a mechanical bull.
10	air hockey.
11	a foosball table.
12	a skee-ball machine.
13	various board games that can be played by patrons.
14	an electro-mechanical gun shooting game.
15	a pachinko machine.
16	pinball machine. (Or video game, after 1978.)
17	slot machine. (Or video poker, after 1979.)
18	1d4 bowling lanes.
19	a room for private parties.
20	lodgings.

There can be multiple examples of the same attraction or amenity.

d12	The bathroom is…
1 – 4	unremarkable.
5	the haunt of a local drug dealer.
6	disgustingly foul.
7	covered in graffiti.
8	surprisingly clean.
9	filled with a mysterious odor.
10	very cramped.
11	cavernously large.
12	apparently a popular spot for casual sexual encounters.

The Bar’s Secret

d100	The most shocking fact about this bar is…
1 – 15	only that the staff is paid “off the books”.
16 – 29	it’s Mob owned, but otherwise a regular business.
30 – 38	it serves underage patrons.
39 – 40	it has failed every health inspection, but somehow remains in business.
40 – 41	all the liquor is bootleg, but put into “legitimate” bottles.
42 – 43	it’s crawling with vermin.
44	the bartender is actually a Vampyre.
45	it is used as a hunting ground by the local Vampyres.
46	the bartender is actually a Werewolf.
47	it’s used as a hunting ground by the local Werewolves.
48 – 50	it’s haunted by the ghost of the first owner.
51 – 52	it’s haunted by the ghost of person murdered here.
53 – 54	it’s haunted by the ghost of a dog (or other pet).
55 – 56	it’s patronized by Demons and Devils.
57 – 58	it’s patronized by Angels.
59	it’s patronized by the Devil himself (or another major Infernal power). (d4: Satan is… 1 = looking to make a deal. 2 = on holiday from Hell, and just want to be left alone. 3 = drowning his sorrows from the loss of his latest love. 4 = expecting someone.)
60	it’s Death’s favorite hangout!
61	it’s used as a neutral meeting ground by the powers of Heaven and Hell.
62 – 63	the owner is a KGB agent.
64 – 66	it’s used for CIA mind-control experiments.
67	some of the drinks are actually potions that grant magical powers.
68 – 69	it’s a meeting place for Demon Hunters.
70	the local Fairy Folk meet here “after-hours”.
71 – 72	auctions of sex slaves are held here “after-hours”.
73 – 74	the basement is a way station for human trafficking.
75	the basement contains an entrance to the Underworld.
76	it’s built atop an Indian burial ground.
77	it’s actually a disguised space-ship, and the owner is an extraterrestrial.
79 – 80	many of the apparent patrons are actually ghosts.
81 – 82	its used as hunting ground for a homicidal maniac.
83 – 84	it’s a front for illegal gambling.
85 – 86	it’s a front for prostitution.
87 – 88	it’s a front for drug dealing.
89 – 90	it’s infested with vermin.
91 – 93	the meat served is actually roadkill.
94 – 95	the meat served is actually from animals not normally eaten by Americans.
96	the meat served is human flesh.
97 – 98	the small library and reading room in the back, stocked with classics and quality literature.
99 – 100	it is owned by a celebrity.

Hitchhikers of the Uncanny Highway – U.S. Route 28

10 Tuesday Mar 2020

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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This is the third post in the series on U.S. Route 28, road of the lost and damned. Like the other random tables in the series, these are intended to reflect a mid-60s to mid-70s America where the all the urban legends are true – and the crazy preacher on the radio might just be right to believe Satan has taken over the P.T.A.!

The 60s and 70s were, of course, the Golden Age of hitchhiking in America, when almost every stretch of roadway would feature someone trying to thumb a ride. Naturally, U.S. Route 28 has its fair share of hitchhikers – not all of whom completely qualify as human beings!

d20	On the side of the road is what appears to be…
1 – 4	1d4 hippies (Flip coin for gender. Ages are d12+13.)
5 – 7	1d4 backpacking college student(s). (Flip coin for gender. Ages are d4+17.)
8 – 10	1d4 ordinary High School students (Flip coins for genders. Ages are d4+13.)
11	a biker next to a broken down motorcycle. (50% chance the encounter is with what appears to be a male biker, and either his “Old Lady” or one of his club’s “Mamas”. If the driver is a biker, there is a 25% chance the stranded biker is from a rival club. Bikers will almost always refuse to abandon their bikes, and usually only flag down drivers in pickup trucks or vans.)
12	a couple next to a broken down car.
13	a family next to a broken-down car.
14	a group of musicians next to a broken-down van.
15	a policeman next to his broken-down car.
16	a soldier.
17	a lone man.
18	a lone woman.
19	a man and a dog.
20	a woman and a dog.

d100	The apparent ethnic origin of the hitchhiker(s) is/are…
1 – 80	“White” American (d12: 1 – 5 = No distinct ethnicity. 6 – 7 = German-American. 8 – 9 = Irish-American. 10 = Italian-American. 11 = Polish-American. 12 = Jewish American [Jewish Americans of the 1960s and 70s were overwhelmingly Ashkenazi].)
81 – 94	African American (Black)
95	Hispanic or West Indian (d6: 1 – 2 = Mexican-American. 2 = Puerto Rican. 3 = Cuban. 4 = Brazilian or South American. 6 = Jamaican-American, or other black West Indian ethnicity.)
96	Asian American (d6: 1 = Filipino-American. 2 = Chinese-American. 3 = Japanese-American. 4 = Korean-American. 5 = Vietnamese-American or Southeast Asian. 6 = Indian-American or Pakistani-American.)
97	Middle-Eastern (d4: 1 = Lebanese-American. 2 = Armenian-American. 3 = Turkish-American. 4 = Palestinian-American.)
98	Native American (d10: 1 = Navaho. 2 = Cherokee. 3 = Apache. 4 = Sioux. 5 = Iroquois. 6 = Chocktaw. 7 = Chippewa. 8 = Cree. 9 = Blackfoot. 10 = Pueblo.)
99 – 100	Foreign. (d20: 1 = Canadian [25% chance to be French-Canadian]. 2 = English. 3 = Scottish. 5 – 6 = Irish. 7 = Australian. 8 – 11 = Continental European. 12 = Middle Eastern. 13 = Indian or Pakistani. 14 – 15 = East Asian. 16 = Pacific Islander. 17 = Sub-Saharan African. 18 = Mexican. 19 = Central American [other than Mexican]. 20 = South American.)

Naturally, the above table is weighted towards the demographics of the United States in the period from the mid 1960s to the mid 1970s.

d12	They want to be taken…
1 – 2	to the nearest motel.
3 – 4	to the nearest gas station / truck stop.
5	to the nearest eatery.
6	to the nearest intersection.
7	to the nearest town.
8	to the nearest city.
9	anywhere you’re going.
10	across the county line.
11	across the state line.
12	someplace inexplicable.

d12	In return for the ride, the driver will be offered…
1 – 4	only thanks.
5	their favorite songs.
6	sexual favors. (Roll again if a child is present.)
7	drugs.
8	money for gas.
9	the story (or stories) of the hitchhiker’s (or lives).
10	a strange trinket.
11	the good news of Jesus Christ.
12	the teachings of the hitchhiker’s Guru.

d20	Their actual intent is…
1 – 10	just to get where they say they are going.
11	recruitment into a cult. (10% chance the cult is murderous, or otherwise criminal in its behavior.)
12	robbery.
13	assault.
14	murder. (5% chance the hitchhiker is a Vampyre or Werewolf.)
15	to surreptitiously drug people as part of a CIA mind-control experiment.
16	to pass on their magical power.
17	to free themselves of a curse.
18	to make a human sacrifice to Satan (or some other power of evil).
19	to reveal a disturbing prophesy. (10% chance to be a “phantom hitchhiker” – or a group of phantom hitchhikers – who will disappear once they arrive at their stated destination.)
20	to conduct bizarre experiments on human beings, because they are actually a disguised extraterrestrial (or group of extraterrestrials).

d100	Notably, this hitchhiker…
1 – 4	is a natural blonde. (Or, has straightened hair, if African American.)
5 – 8	wears glasses.
9 – 10	is a natural redhead (Or, has an “afro”, if African American.)
11 – 12	is strikingly attractive.
13 – 14	is very muscular (or buxom). (Roll again if a child.)
15 – 16	has extremely long hair. (If a male policeman or soldier, they have a prominent mustache.)
17 – 18	is unusually pale for their apparent ethnicity.
19 – 20	is very unkempt.
21 – 22	looks younger than their stated age.
23 – 24	looks older than their stated age.
25 – 26	smells unusually good.
27 – 28	has a foul body odor.
29 – 30	has a smooth, velvety voice.
31 – 32	has a rough, gruff voice.
33 – 34	speaks crudely.
35 – 36	speaks eloquently.
37 – 38	is very rude (or brazen).
39 – 40	is extremely polite.
41 – 42	speaks pretentiously. (Or precociously, if a child.)
43 – 44	is seemingly overdressed for the weather.
45 – 46	is wearing a lot of jewelry.
47 – 48	is wearing a strange amulet or religious medal.
49 – 50	is heavily tattooed. (Note: it is rare for women not associated with bikers to have obvious tattoos in the 1960s and 70s.)
51 – 52	matches the description of a wanted criminal. (The person is wanted for: 1 = murder. 2 = bank robbery. 3 = sex offenses. 4 = kidnapping. Roll again if a child.)
53 – 54	is wearing a suit / formal attire.
55 – 56	looks exactly like someone famous. (5% chance they actually are that person)
57 – 58	appears to be very nervous.
59 – 60	is very standoffish.
61 – 62	has no concept of personal space.
63 – 64	avoids all questions about their past. (Roll again if they have offered to tell the story of their life in return for the ride!)
65 – 66	is wearing as little clothing as possible.
67 – 68	won’t look at you when they speak.
69 – 70	stares right into your eyes when they speak.
71 – 72	is wearing what looks like a Halloween costume. (If the hitchhiker is in uniform, they are wearing a Halloween mask.)
73 – 74	has horrible teeth.
75 – 76	is wearing clothing that seems a size too small.
77 – 78	is wearing very loose clothing.
79 – 80	is very fashionable.
81 – 82	is wearing a fashion (or a hairstyle) that seems at least a decade out of date.
83 – 84	claims to have had an encounter with a UFO.
85 – 86	is very bigoted.
87 – 88	is extraordinarily tolerant and liberal in their views.
89 – 90	is outspokenly in favor of the Vietnam War (Roll again if a Hippie.)
91 – 92	is outspokenly opposed to the Vietnam War.
93 – 94	constantly claims to see things no one else notices.
95	has two different color eyes.
96	is on crutches
97	has only one eye.
98	is missing a hand.
99	is missing an arm.
100	is completely bald. (90% likely to be wearing a wig.)

Billboards and Eateries of the Uncanny Highway – U.S. Route 28

03 Tuesday Mar 2020

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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Welcome back to the series on the “Uncanny Highway”. It’s good to be back here posting after such a long hiatus! So, without further ado, here’s some generators for the tasteless billboards and strange eateries that line that corridor of Hell on Earth known as U.S. Route 28!

BILLBOARDS OF THE UNCANNY HIGHWAY

d20	The Billboard appears to advertise a local…
1 – 2	Eatery.
3 – 4	Bar.
5 – 6	Amusement or Theme Park.
7 – 8	Truck Stop. (With gas, a weigh station, showers, and a restaurant.)
9 – 10	Motel.
11	Political Candidate.
12	Gas Station.
13	Souvenir Shop.
14	Monument.
15	Roadside Museum.
16	Trailer Park.
17	Drive-In Theater.
18	Car Dealership.
19	Church.
20	“Mystery Spot”.

d12	The main image on the Billboard depicts…
1 – 2	the proprietor of the establishment, (Alternately, the Political Candidate, or pastor of the advertised church.)
3 – 4	a smiling family,
5	a smiling face,
6 – 7	an image of the main product offered, (A hamburger, beer, cross, etc.)
8	a square-jawed man standing tall, (25% chance the man is wearing a cowboy hat.)
9	an anthropomorphic animal mascot,
10	a scantily-clad woman, (Roll again is the Billboard is for a Church. If this result is rolled again, then the Church is, in fact, advertising itself with a scantily-clad woman!)
11	a bald eagle,
12	Jesus holding an object associated with the sign’s subject, (A taco, a souvenir, a rifle, etc.)

d20	…and…
1 – 4	the exterior of the establishment, (Or, the image of the Statehouse or County Courthouse, for a Political Candidate)
5 – 8	a rippling American flag,
9 – 10	stars,
11 – 12	spotlights,
13 – 14	fireworks,
15	a circle of people holding hands,
16	an automobile (or several automobiles),
17	a tree, (50% chance of a cactus instead, if road runs through a desert.)
18	flowers,
19	flying birds,
20	a happy dog,

d20	…against…
1 – 3	a plain white background.
4 – 7	an American flag design.
8 – 9	a local landscape.
10 – 11	a blue sky.
12 – 14	a field of solid color.
15 – 17	a field of gradient color.
18	a checkerboard pattern.
19	a swirly, “psychedelic” design.
20	a field of polka dots.

d6	Besides any directions, the text of the advertisement consist of…
1	a few simple words,
2	a single word,
3	a single, carefully considered slogan,
4	a few disconnected phrases,
5	a few complete sentences,
6	too many words to read while driving past,

d6	…written…
1	in the empty spaces of the design.
2	across the design, almost obscuring it.
3	in white letters, within black bars on the top and bottom of the sign.
4	in “extruded” text meant to look like it is projecting from the sign.
5	within angular geometric shapes.
6	within curvilinear, organic shapes.

d6	The diction used is…
1	unctuous.
2	saccharine.
3	bold and confident.
4	zany.
5	vaguely threatening.
6	dry and matter-of-fact.

d100	Notably, …
1 – 10	the sign is very old and faded.
11 – 20	the sign appears to be quite new.
21 – 30	the colors clash horribly.
31 – 40	the quality of the artwork is shockingly good.
41 – 50	the quality of the artwork is very low.
51 – 55	the sign is defaced with Satanic graffiti.
56 – 60	teenagers have drawn several arrow-pierced hearts on it, along with their initials.
61 – 64	someone has been shooting at the sign.
65 – 68	someone has crudely drawn male genitalia on the sign.
69 – 70	the sign is an unusual shape.
71 – 72	the sign is a pasted sheet that is now peeling away, revealing another image underneath.
73 – 74	someone has left flowers at the the base of the sign. (25% chance each of a teddy bear, photograph, or candle also being present.)
75 – 76	someone has been shooting at the sign.
77 – 78	there is blood spattered on the sign.
79 – 80	someone has written the names of their favorite musical artists on the sign.
81 – 82	someone has written “Murderers” (or “Thieves”) on the sign.
83 – 84	someone has written cabalistic formulas on the sign.
85 – 86	someone has written “Die, Commies!” on the sign.
87 – 88	there are numerous dead birds at the base of the sign.
89 – 90	there is a dead deer at the base of the sign.
91 – 92	someone appears to be camped out underneath the sign.
93 – 94	there is an abandoned car underneath the sign.
95 – 96	there is an abandoned motorcycle underneath the sign.
97 – 98	the address given is impossible. (The indicated town doesn’t exist, the street number is too high to be real, etc.)
99 – 100	no address or directions are given.

ROADSIDE EATERIES OF THE UNCANNY HIGHWAY

d100	The roadside sign outside the eatery is…
1 – 15	unexceptional.
16 – 30	neon.
31 – 36	nothing but a painted A-frame sign.
37 – 42	three-sided.
43 – 48	painted on a rotating drum.
49 – 54	enclosed by a frame of white light bulbs.
55 – 60	enclosed by a frame of colored light bulbs.
61 – 62	apparently missing (there is an empty pole where it should be attached)
63 – 64	completely illegible.
65 – 66	spotlit 24 hours a day.
67 – 68	painted in “psychedelic” style, with organically-shaped letters and bright colors.
69 – 70	held by a giant chicken.
71 – 72	painted across a giant hamburger atop a pole.
73 – 74	held by a giant, anthropomorphic hamburger.
75 – 76	painted across a giant hotdog on a pole.
77 – 78	held by a giant anthropomorphic hotdog.
79 – 81	painted across a giant milkshake.
81 – 82	painted across a giant fish atop a pole.
83 – 84	held by an anthropomorphic fish.
85 – 86	held by a giant pig in a chef’s outfit.
87 – 88	on a board underneath an anthropomorphic pig, carving itself into chops.
89 – 90	painted across a giant, anthropomorphic ear of corn.
91 – 92	painted vertically on the side of a rocket.
93 – 94	designed to resemble a medieval coat-of-arms.
95 – 96	held by a giant woman. (d4: 1 = Bikini-clad. 2 = Ethnic outfit. 3 = Cowgirl. 4 = Maid)
97 – 98	held by a giant cowboy.
99 – 100	held by a stereotypical Native American with a feathered headdress.

Note: If the sign seems wholly inappropriate for the establishment, either roll again, or assume that the current eatery simply re-purposed the sign from the restaurant that occupied the building previously.

d100	The exterior of the building is…
1 – 40	perfectly ordinary.
41 – 45	just an old house (or barn) converted into a restaurant.
46 – 50	a sleek Art-Deco design of chrome and glass.
51 – 55	a Space-Age, “Googie” design.
56 – 60	a boxy, brick structure that may once have been a warehouse.
61 – 65	a giant windmill
66 – 70	a sailing ship (complete with masts),
71 – 74	an old railway car.
75 – 76	a converted bus.
77 – 78	a log cabin.
79 – 80	a faux castle.
81 – 82	a Chinese pagoda.
83 – 84	a giant tee-pee.
85 – 86	a giant egg.
87 – 89	a giant melon.
90 – 91	a giant apple.
92 – 93	a head wearing a cowboy hat. (Entrance is through the open mouth.)
94 – 95	a giant hamburger.
96 – 96	a giant, upright ear of corn.
97 – 98	a train car.
99 – 100	an Egyptian pyramid.

Note: As with the sign, if the shape of the building seems wholly inappropriate for the establishment, either roll again, or assume that the eatery is located inside a building actually created for a completely different type of restaurant.

d6	The condition of the building is…
1	excellent.
2	generally good.
3	poor due to neglect.
4	poor due to obvious vandalism.
5	badly weathered.
6	mostly good, but there are bullet holes in the side.

d10	The parking lot is…
1	very small, but only partially filled.
2	very small, and completely filled.
3	moderately sized, and largely empty.
4	moderately sized, and half empty.
5	moderately sized, but mostly filled.
6	large, and largely empty.
7	large, and half-filled.
8 – 9	large, because this is a drive-in restaurant. (Once a customer parks, waitstaff will appear in 1d6 minutes. 50% likely the waitstaff is on roller-skates.)
10	large, half-filled, and evidently a popular place for teenagers to congregate. (There are 2d4 apparently ordinary teenagers loitering about one or two cars.)

d10	The interior is…
1 – 3	wood paneling,
4 – 5	painted wood paneling,
6	bare brick,
7	faux stone,
8 – 9	wallpapered.,
10 – 11	filled with mementos of local community members,
12	plastered with newspapers,

d8	…and it is..
1 – 3	clean, well-maintained, and brightly-lit.
4 – 5	clean and well-maintained, but dimly-lit.
6	apparently clean, but there is a strange odor.
7	dingy and neglected.
8	filthy and obviously vermin-infested.

d12	The food served is primarily…
1 – 2	local-style home-cooking.
3 – 4	battered and deep-fried.
5 – 6	hamburgers and hot dogs.
7	barbeque.
8	Soul Food.
9	a challenging local specialty. (Rocky Mountain Oysters, Scrapple, Head Cheese, etc.)
10	pizzeria fare.
11	Chinese-American.
12	Tex-Mex.

d10	The staff is…
1	complete nondescript – in fact, it’s hard to remember what they even look like!
2	a motley crew, no two of whom resemble each other at all.
3	oddly similar in appearance.
4	wearing archaic uniforms.
5	all unusually old.
6	all unusually young.
7	all of a single ethnic background (other than white American).
8	unusually pale and sickly-looking.
9	strangely lethargic.
10	frighteningly energetic.

d20	The bathroom is…
1 – 3	clean and bright.
4 – 5	clean, but drab.
6 – 7	dreary.
8	disgustingly foul, and looks like it is seldom cleaned.
9 – 10	very dimly-lit.
11	covered in graffiti.
12 – 13	decorated in a nautical theme.
14	covered in newspapers.
15	in the middle of a renovation.
16	oddly modern and fashionable for a roadside establishment.
17 – 18	a mess, from what looks like a recent fight or struggle.
19	spattered with fresh blood.
20	literally a gateway to Hell.

d100	The other patrons of the eatery include…
1 – 8	an average family. (A father, a mother, and 1d4 children. 25% chance the children are running around, annoying other patrons.)
9 – 12	an obviously abusive man and his terrified family.
13 – 16	a uniformed policeman.
17 – 20	2 men in suits eating together. (50% chance to be homicide detectives working a case)
21 – 24	1d12 biker(s).
25 – 28	1d4 sportspeople. (Hunter(s), fisher(s), hiker(s), mountain climber(s), etc.)
29 – 32	1d4 nun(s).
33 – 36	1d4 workmen eating together.
37 – 40	a male trucker eating alone.
41 – 44	a male trucker eating with a woman (d100: 1 – 50 = woman is the trucker’s wife or girlfriend. 51 – 75: woman is a prostitute. 76 – 100: woman is a hitchhiker.)
45 – 48	a group of 2d4 religious fanatics.
49 – 52	1d6 hippies. (Or other counter-cultural types.)
53 – 56	a nondescript man eating alone. (2% chance he is a serial killer. 25% chance he is a traveling salesman. He may be a serial-killer traveling salesman.)
57 – 60	a nondescript woman eating alone. (10% chance she is pregnant. 1% chance she is a serial killer. She may be a pregnant serial-killer.)
61 – 64	a group of 1d4+1 ordinary teenagers. (25% likely to be hitchhiking.)
65 – 68	a group of 1d4+1 middle-aged women.
69 – 72	A bruised woman, not eating anything. (d6 to determine who assaulted her: 1 = her husband. 2 = her pimp. 3 = a random person. 4 = a rogue highway patrolman. 5 = a supernatural creature. 6 = nobody – she was in an accident.)
73 – 76	a well-dressed man and woman. (10% chance they are about to rob the place. 1% chance they are a serial-killing couple.)
77 – 80	a shabbily dressed man and woman. (5% chance they are about to rob the place. 1% chance they are a serial-killing couple.)
81 – 84	a dangerous-looking man who stares at the other patrons. (2% chance he is a serial killer. 10% chance he is an escaped lunatic.)
85 – 88	an obviously drunk man.
89 – 92	an obvious pimp with 1d4 prostitutes. (Prostitutes are 12+d20 years old.)
93 – 96	a runaway teenage girl. (75% likely to be looking for a ride. 25% chance she is pregnant.)
97 – 100	a runaway teenage boy. (75% likely to be looking for a ride.)

Roll 1d4 times if the parking lot is small, 1d8 times if the parking lot is moderately sized, and 2d12 times if the parking lot is large.

d100	The most shocking fact about the place is…
1 – 10	only that the wait staff are paid “off the books”.
11 – 16	the food is actually better than any fancy restaurant.
17 – 18	the food is vile, and it is a wonder how it stays in business.
19 – 20	it is haunted by the ghost of its former owner.
21 – 22	it is haunted by the ghost of a teenage girl who died on her prom night.
23 – 24	it is haunted by the ghost of a former employee.
25 – 26	it is haunted by the ghosts of the animals served there!
27 – 30	the proprietor seems to be barely out of High School.
31 – 33	it is infested with vermin.
34 – 36	the owner serves old food that is close to spoiling.
37 – 40	the cook was actually once the personal chef of someone famous.
41 – 43	a well-known celebrity often dines here incognito.
44 – 46	it was once the scene of a mass-murder.
47 – 50	it is built directly atop a Native American burial ground.
51 – 53	it has failed every health inspection, and survives through the bribery of county officials.
54 – 56	it is a front for drug dealing.
57 – 60	it is a front for prostitution.
61 – 63	it is a front for contract murder.
64 – 66	it is simply a money laundering operation for its owners.
67 – 70	murder victims are buried under the floor.
71 – 73	the food of some patrons is drugged, so they can be handed over to an international human trafficking network.
74 – 76	the food of some patrons is drugged so their kidneys can be harvested.
77 – 79	the owners are members of a satanic cult.
80 – 83	it is used as meeting place by violent racists.
84 – 86	it is used as meeting place by Soviet agents.
87 – 91	it is part of a CIA mind-control experiment.
90 – 92	it is actually the resting place of a Vampyre (or pack of Vampyres).
93 – 95	the wait staff are actually trafficked people working against their will.
96 – 98	the meat served is not from the animals claimed – but at least its not human!
99	it serves human flesh to everyone.
100	there is a secret back room / underground chamber where human flesh is served to a select clientele.

Driving the Uncanny Highway – U.S. Route 28

09 Wednesday Oct 2019

Posted by Daniel James Hanley in Gothic Gaming, GROOVY Ghastly Affair, Historical Gaming, Random Tables, Uncanny Highway, Weird

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Officially, of course, there is no U.S. Route 28. Don’t try to locate it on any map or road atlas – you will not find it. Yet it exist, and sections of it seems to wind improbably through every state of the continental U.S. Just as strangely, its meandering path somehow avoids every major city. Exits for U.S. Route 28 can be found along every Interstate, yet a person can drive their entire life and never see one.

The missing, the lost, and the desperate haunt Route 28. They inhabit its odd motels, staff its bizarre roadside museums, and drink in its shadowy bars. Most who pass along the road continue on to their destinations in blissful ignorance. But an unlucky few learn the full extent of the horrors that lurk amid it’s truck-stops and diners.

These tables are the beginning of a “road-trip” setting for Groovy Ghastly Affair, but anyone gaming in a Weird Americana environment could use them. Naturally, they assume a time-frame of the Swinging Sixties and Groovy Seventies, when one would still encounter hitchhikers, and before the highways of America were completely consumed by the corporate chains that dominate them today.

GENERAL PROCEDURE

1) Every 10 minutes, roll 1d10 times on Table 1: NEARBY VEHICLES.

2) For every 10 minutes of travel in-game, roll on Table 2a: ORDINARY HIGHWAY FEATURE, or table 2b: Table 2b: ORDINARY BACK ROAD FEATURE.

3) For every 30 minutes of travel in-game, roll on Table 3: NOTABLE ROADSIDE ATTRACTION.

4) For every hour of travel in-game, roll on Table 4: CHALLENGING ROAD EVENT.

5) If players turn on the radio, roll on Table 5: RADIO STATIONS OF THE UNCANNY HIGHWAY.

Table 1: NEARBY VEHICLES (roll 1d10 times)

d12	*The nearby vehicle is a…*
1	pickup truck,
2	station wagon,
3	two-door coupe,
4	convertible coupe,
5	four-door sedan,
6	sports car,
7	compact car,
8	motorcycle,
9	delivery truck, or utility vehicle,
10	van,
11	luxury car,
12	“Bug”,

d20	…painted…
1 – 2	black.
3 – 4	white.
5 – 6	dark blue.
7 – 8	metallic gray.
9	cherry red.
10	burgundy
11	brown.
12	sky blue.
13	blue-green.
14	bright yellow.
15	mustard yellow.
16	orange.
17	forest green.
18	lime green
19	pink.
20	purple.

Roll a d20 to determine the age of the car.

Encounters with Buses, Tractor Trailers, Classic Cars, and Hot Rods are considered potentially challenging Road Events, whose occurrence is determined on Table 4.

Table 2a: ORDINARY HIGHWAY FEATURE (roll every 10 minutes on a highway)

d20	*Ahead, there is…*
1 – 4	apparently just this same stretch of highway.
5	a curve in the road
6	a train trestle overhead (5% chance something falls or is thrown from the trestle)
7	a 3-way intersection
8	a 4-way intersection.
9	a cloverleaf.
10	a u-turn junction.
11	an elevated section.
12 – 13	a split in the road.
13	a truck weigh station (with no other facilities).
14 – 15	an exit for a two-lane Back Road.
16 – 18	an exit for a small town. (population d100 x 100)
19	an exit for a college town. (population 2d20 x 1000)
20	an exit for a small city. (population 3d20 x 1000)

Table 2b: ORDINARY BACK ROAD FEATURE (roll every 10 minutes on a back road)

d12	*Ahead, there is…*
1	apparently just this same stretch of road.
2	a curve in the road
3	a bridge over a stream (or dry river bed)
4	a railroad crossing
5	a split in the road.
6	a foot path leading from the road into the countryside.
7	a crossroads.
8	a state park.
9	a national park.
10 – 11	a small town. (population d100 x 100)
12	an exit back onto the Highway.

Table 3: NOTABLE ROADSIDE ATTRACTION (roll every ½ Hour)

d20	On the side of the road you see a…
1	Hitchhiker.
2	Animal.
3	Farm Stand.
4	Abandoned Vehicle.
5	Odd Billboard.
6	Strange House.
7	Quirky Eatery.
8	Bar / Roadhouse.
9	Gas Station.
10	Mysterious, Unmarked Road Exit.
11	Truck Stop (Gas, Weigh Station, Showers, Restaurant).
12	Motel.
13	Souvenir Shop.
14	Monument / Shrine.
15	Amusement/Theme Park.
16	Roadside Museum.
17	Trailer Park.
18	Drive-In Theater.
19	Church.
20	“Mystery Spot” or “Gravity Hill”.

Table 4: CHALLENGING ROAD EVENT (roll every Hour)

d12+d8	*Suddenly…*
2	a person in back seat of nearby car appears to be calling for help.
3	your car blows a tire.
4	a bird flies into your windshield, or a gun is fired at your car.
5	road garbage flies at your windshield.
6	a flirty (or exhibitionist) driver pulls up next to you.
7	you encounter a rough patch of road.
8	you see a distracting custom car, or hot rod (50% chance owner wants to race).
9	you see a distractingly decorated “hippie van”. (d8. Occupants are 1 = “deadheads”, 2 = a marijuana smuggling operation, 3 = drug-crazed murderers, 4 = sex cultists, 5 = neo-pagan witches, 6 = ordinary college students, 7 = actually government agents, 8 = “meddling kids” out to solve mysteries.)
10	you encounter a gang of 2d12 biker(s) traveling together.
11	you see loaded tractor-trailer ahead.
12	a driver ahead is going far too slow.
13	an aggressive driver cuts you off.
14	there’s a speed trap (with waiting Police car.)
15	you see a bus (d4: 1 = travelers, 2 = nuns, 3 = musicians on tour, 4 = prisoner transport).
16	a drunk driver starts crossing lanes.
17	an animal or person runs into road. (Person has a 50% chance each of being: a) nude, b) blood-spattered, c) incoherent, d) on the run from a psycho-killer; e) a kidnapping victim fleeing their captor.)
18	objects fall from the bed of a truck ahead of you.
19	a nearby driver loses control of their car.
20	the road becomes impassible. (d4 1 = car crash, 2 = tree (or utility pole) fallen across road, 3 = flooded road, 4 = sinkhole.)

Challenging road Events will generally require some kind of Ability Check to avoid trouble, or an accident.

Table 5: RADIO STATIONS OF THE UNCANNY HIGHWAY (1d6 stations for every 1 hour stretch driving on highway or road)

d20	Searching the dial, you find a station broadcasting…
1 – 2	Rock n’ Roll,
3 – 4	News,
5 – 6	Country Music,
7	Soul.
8	Jazz,
9	Blues,
10	Easy Listening,
11	Oldies, (Rockabilly, Doo-Wop, 50s Rock n’ Roll)
12	Big Band Swing,
13	Polka,
14	an interview with a local celebrity,
15	Public Radio educational shows,
16	Christian music,
17	a bizarre sermon, (Roll on Table 6a.)
18	an insane conspiracy theory, (Roll on Table 6b.)
19	songs that seems to be soundtrack for your current day,
20	music in an unknown language,

d20	…and the DJ / announcer sounds…
1	bored.
2	drunk.
3	giddy.
4	drunk.
5	stoned.
6	frenetic.
7	monotone.
8	enthusiastic.
9	dimwitted.
10	incoherent.
11	insane.
12	halting.
13	smooth.
14	sleazy.
15	foreign.
16	snobby.
17	very young.
18	elderly.
19	lisping.
20	familiar – you know that voice.

Note: The call signs of American Radio stations are four-letter codes. A call-sign for a station west of the Mississippi River has “K” as the first letter in its sign, while one east of the Mississippi begins with “W”.

Table 6a: BIZARRE SERMONS ON THE RADIO

d20	*The apparent topic of this preacher’s sermon is…*
1	Jesus wants you to send me your money.
2	Vietnam is/was a Holy War to save Christianity.
3	The richer you are, the more Jesus loves you.
4	The Lava Lamp – an idol of Satan!
5	Tithing is more important than eating.
6	The End Times are here now.
7	All true modern science is foreshadowed in the Bible.
8	Evolution is a lie.
9	Jesus, the investor.
10	Meditation is Devil Worship.
11	Elections are pointless, because God selects our leaders.
12	Richard Nixon – God’s Chosen One!
13	The U.F.Os are demons in disguise.
14	The Pope is the Antichrist.
15	God is an American, and always has been.
16	Football is God’s favorite sport.
17	All Rock n’ Roll songs are written by Satan.
18	Christians should only use “Biblical” medicine.
19	The Barbie Doll is the Whore of Babylon.
20	American Christians are the true Israelites.

Table 6b: BIZARRE CONSPIRACY THEORIES ON THE RADIO

d20	As much as you can make sense of it, this person is ranting about…
1	the Rothschild family.
2	the “Trilateral Commission”.
3	Feminists trying to destroy the American family.
4	the “Campus Communists”.
5	the “Eastern Bankers”.
6	the “Bilderbergers”.
7	the Illuminati conspiring with Space Aliens to impose Communism on America.
8	the “Liberal Media”.
9	the United Nations, and their plan to occupy America.
10	the coming Ice Age.
11	the British Royal Family.
12	the “International Satanic Conspiracy”.
13	how Satanists control local government.
14	the “Homosexual Agenda”.
15	the Communists in Hollywood.
16	C.I.A. mind control.
17	Soviet Agents in Congress.
18	how the Jesuits created Communism.
19	the “Bohemian Grove”.
20	fluoridated water being a Communist plot.

Coming up: Tables for determining characteristics of hitchhikers, quirky eateries, strange amusement parks, and more.

When the Vehicle Rules Matter

The Attributes of Vehicles

Fights Involving Vehicles

Chases Involving Vehicles

Escapes Involving Vehicles

Crashing Vehicles

Vehicles as Hazards

Land Vehicles of the Swinging Sixties and Groovy Seventies

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About Modern Guns

The Simple Approach

The Detailed Approach

Assault Rifle (AK-47, FN FAL, M14, M16, G3, etc.)

Derringer

Pistol, Revolver (.38 Special, .357 Magnum, .44 Magnum, etc.)

Pistol, Snubnose (Colt Detective Special, Smith & Wesson Model 36, etc.)

Pistol, Saturday Night Special

Pistol, Semi-Automatic (.45 Caliber M1911, 9mm Browning Hi-Power, Walter P38, etc. )

Pistol, Semi-Automatic Pocket (Walter PPK, Baretta M418, Marakov Pistol, etc.)

Pistol, Machine (Stechkin APS, Skorpion, MAC-10, etc.)

Rifle, Bolt-action (M1903 Springfield, Lee-Enfield, Karabiner 98K, etc.)

Rifle, Lever-Action (Winchester Rifle, Marlin 1894, etc.)

Rifle, Semi-automatic Carbine (M1 Carbine, M1 Garand, AR-15, etc.)

Submachine Gun (Tommy Gun, Sterling, Uzi, etc.)

Machine Gun (M1919, M60, PK Machine Gun, etc.)

Shotgun, Break-Action

Shotgun, Double-Barreled

Shotgun, Pump-action

Shotgun, Sawed-Off

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(d12, d6) The obviously tipsy woman says:

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(d12, d6) The obviously tipsy man says:

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Initial Impression of the Bar

Inside the Bar

People and Events

Food and Drink

Attractions and Amenities

The Bar’s Secret

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BILLBOARDS OF THE UNCANNY HIGHWAY

ROADSIDE EATERIES OF THE UNCANNY HIGHWAY

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GENERAL PROCEDURE

Table 1: NEARBY VEHICLES (roll 1d10 times)

Table 2a: ORDINARY HIGHWAY FEATURE (roll every 10 minutes on a highway)

Table 2b: ORDINARY BACK ROAD FEATURE (roll every 10 minutes on a back road)

Table 3: NOTABLE ROADSIDE ATTRACTION (roll every ½ Hour)

Table 4: CHALLENGING ROAD EVENT (roll every Hour)

Table 5: RADIO STATIONS OF THE UNCANNY HIGHWAY (1d6 stations for every 1 hour stretch driving on highway or road)

Table 6a: BIZARRE SERMONS ON THE RADIO

Table 6b: BIZARRE CONSPIRACY THEORIES ON THE RADIO

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